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most of us don't want to change, really, I mean why should we ?

what we do want is sort of modifications on the original model. we keep on being ourselves but just hopefully better versions of ourselves.

but what happens when an event occurs that is so catastrophic that you change ?

you change for the known person to an unknown person. so that when you look at yourself in the mirror, you recognise the person that you were, but the person inside the skin is a different person.

nick cave 2017

we all live our lives dangerously
in a state of jeopody
at the edge of calamity

you have discovered that the veil that separates your ordered life from disarray is wafer thin

this is the ordinary truth of existance
from which none of of are exempt

in time we all find out we are not in control

we never were
we never will be

nick cave 2022

We found grief contained many things — happiness, empathy, commonality, sorrow, fury, joy, forgiveness, combativeness, gratitude, awe, and even a certain peace. For us, grief became an attitude, a belief system, a doctrine — a conscious inhabiting of our vulnerable selves, protected and enriched by the absence of the one we loved and that we lost

nick cave 2022